Suffocate with you, lose the will to breathe without you
Dying to believe in you, living with you and doubt you
Falling on my knees... tell me where do I shout to
As I'm trying to figure the lesser of two evils
Staying with this person even though you start to hate them
They're sickening enough to make you sick when you face them
Robitussin, fighting, and cussing... hoping you can make them
Understand your emotions and your reasoning to pace them
Fuck the struggle, you can quit 'em and remain alone
You can stay in the same place... you know... the safest zone
Never take the risk, remain complacent, replace the anxious mode
Stay yourself because you didn't want to fail if you decided to break the mold
This shit gets old, it's tiring, and no one has the time for this
This is finance of the brain, so it's insane to have the mind for this
The investment is a blessing, but it gets so upsetting
When you're still losing out, no matter what... it's unsettling
This is a disease for which there's no form of medicine
You try to live a life to feel alive, but feeling dead again,
Things are decided for you with a consequence attached:
You get the same path with different end results to mix and match
You take a look at this choice, and take a break from that one
You're ready to grab that gun and splash your brains like that's fun
You have to make an action, but when the act's done
The world is an infant negro male: it's going black, son
There are strategies and tactics, luck and mathematics
Options and bad habits, arguments and crashes
Getting paper just to give to a bitch made of plastic
Or never getting paper, making bad decisions, being drastic
Never married, but giving half of your common sense to have it
Being together forever and treating everything like it just happened
Doing the same thing and expecting different is madness
So doing different and getting the same result must be the pull of magic...
Seeing the lesser is confusing in this battle we often lose when
We've done all we can to move shit around before we lose it
It's just a melody in life without the music:
No rhythm, no rhyme, and no time in this metaphorical booth
You can stay put and get nothing done in your personal life
Or you can take on someone else's and put up with the strife
But it's fucked up when you have this someone of a husband or wife
Who completes you, but drives you crazy as a placement of price
You can struggle and find your grind, make money all of the time
Then, complain about the person that you think you have to find
And deal with those who want your progress, not your process
Fucking with your paycheck as well as your mindset
Either way, it's crazy and neither sound attractive at the end
But the question is: what's faster to mend?
It's hard to fix the project of self without an outer view of it
But you never have to deal with another someone else's stupid shit
So what happens when it's only you and you're just about through with it...?
~Stephen A. Johnson
